Your husband wants more freedom. You can hardly believe what you’re hearing when he tells you this. After all, wasn’t giving up his “freedom” part of the deal when you two walked down the aisle and made your vows? There is so much room for misunderstanding when a man tells his wife that he wants more space or time for himself. You need to get clear on exactly what it is that he desires and then you need to develop a plan to save your marriage. Ignoring this is not the way to go if you are hoping to keep your relationship together.
Before you can do anything to rectify the situation you have to gain a clearer understanding of why your husband wants more freedom. If he tells you that he feels suffocated within the relationship, that’s obviously a huge cause for concern. His definition of freedom may actually be a separation and then eventual divorce.
On the other hand, often when a many says he needs freedom he simply is referring to the fact that he wants more time to pursue his own hobbies or interests. It could be something as simple as hanging out with his friends a couple of times a month or going away on a fishing trip occasionally.
Sit down with your husband and talk about what he’s feeling and what he hopes to accomplish by having more freedom or space. This obviously won’t be any easy conversation for the two of you to have but it’s an important one. You need to gain some insight into what he’s feeling and how he sees your marriage in the future.
If it’s simply a case of him wanting more time for himself, embrace that. Many couples who have interests outside the marriage find they get along better and are closer. If he has hobbies that he’s pushed aside in favor of spending more time with you and the children, encourage him to jump back into doing those. You should do the same. It not only gives you each another thing to focus on but you’ll have more to share when you two do talk with each other.
Obviously, it’s a much different story if his idea of freedom is a separation so he can live his own life apart from you and your family. If that’s what is happening, you need to decide if allowing him the chance to live his life without you is something you’re willing to do. It’s terrifying when a husband says he wants some time for himself but quite often that time will actually be the trigger to help him see what he’s at risk of losing.
Work with your husband to find some middle ground and get talking to one another again. Your marriage wasn’t built overnight so don’t allow it to crumble into a million pieces in the blink of an eye.