Cheating is fast becoming as common as pizza. This is however not an invitation to put on your paranoid slippers and start imagining that every man in sight (perhaps even one who is bedridden and can’t get around without you) is cheating.
There are some fool-proof signs that will out a cheating spouse, and surprisingly, they are not the obvious ones you would be expecting. I mean, get real: how many husbands WOULD actually leave lipstick stains on their collars? So learn to look for the not-so-obvious like:
1. Incessant and Unjust complaints
If your husband suddenly starts finding fault with things he was perfectly okay with before, consider yourself put on notice because it means that there is now someone else in his life, new apparently, whose opinion he values enough to want to overturn all that was previously familiar and normal. Chances are, he will start wanting to change the little things like your shampoo, or your laundry detergent, or the way you arrange the scrambled eggs on the plate, or even the way you wax the floors and before you know it, he decides the little things are not enough, he wants to change his wife.
For most of us, every time we ignore our instincts, we end up regretting it, and in truth, a woman’s instincts are usually more accurate than she gives them credit for. If you suddenly start getting that feeling in the pit of your stomach that he is ‘stepping out on you’, you may want to start being more alert.
3. Body Language
There is a lot to be said for body language no matter how people may underrate them. A cheating husband will, at some level, feel guilt (unless of course he is a sociopath) and invariably, if you are good, you can virtually smell and SEE the guilt coming out of his pores. Of course, every cheat is also a liar (whoever heard of an honest cheat), so if you suspect cheating, then you have to be on your toes to catch him out in a lie. Clue, body language. It may not always be about holes in his story; sometimes, it’s in the way he tells them. Studies have shown that not all liars avoid eye contact; in fact some go out of their way to make eye contact so you have to look for other clues.
If your spouse has been lip-locked with someone else, invariably, his kissing style changes. It may be subtle or overt but once he has kissed the forbidden lips, the next time he touches lips with you, he unconsciously mimics the other woman’s technique. This does not however suggest that he wouldn’t kiss differently if say, he was punched on the lips by the friendly neighbourhood burglar while the latter was carting away family treasures, nor is this meant to suggest that 20 years down the line, he would kiss you the same way he did at your wedding ceremony. You can easily figure out where to draw the line being that you are a sensible woman.
5. Excessive explanations
Do you remember being a kid with an overeager imagination? When you were asked who had been in the cookie jar, you made up stories ranging from burglars to fairies in order to protect the real culprit, you; but when you were innocent of the ‘theft’, you simply said, “I don’t know”.
When a man has been unfaithful, a simple “How was work?” is likely to earn you incredible accounts of how he got delayed because his boss decided to do the rumba on the conference table.
An unfaithful spouse will suddenly, and for no obvious reason, become suspicious of you, accusing you of flirting with everyone from the mailman to the elderly gentleman next door. If he was previously not the unreasonably jealous type, then be alert because most cheats abide by the principle: an attack is the best defence. So while you are busy fending off his attacks, he may be quietly and happily cheating on the side.
7. He gives you unusually free rein with his gadgets
Most people check the phones and e-mails first if they suspect someone is cheating and so, most cheats have learnt to grow with the times. If he is being unusually non-possessive of his gadgets, then you may have cause for alarm because not only is he cheating, he is also consistently wiping off the evidence! It’s like premeditated cheating!
8. Follow the money
Every cheating man wants to do right by his lady love so naturally, he resorts to gifts and trips. If you can follow his spending habits, you may have a shot at catching him at it.
Please note that there are exceptions to every rule, but if four or more of these signs are present, you may want to keep a closer eye on your man.And yes, the signs in this articles are applicable not only to husbands, but also boyfriends. Indeed, where the ‘suspect’ is merely your boyfriend or fiance, a sign that works amazingly is: Watch where he spends time with you most. Studies have shown that if a man is juggling women, he rarely takes them to his house, preferring instead to spend more time at their place than his!
The worst thing you can do is confront a cheating husband before you have all the facts or evidence. Chances are, he will deny it and ‘up’ his cheating, daring you to catch him at his game – if you can!!!